There’s a time and place for technology. I needed to cleanse. It seems totally dramatic and outrageous but I truly felt myself slipping out of living in the moment. I felt myself comparing my Friday night or kitchen countertops with a stranger. I deleted the app, told myself to put down my damn phone and finish a book in my free time. My daughter is growing and learning at a rate I can’t keep up with, it’s all happening right before my eyes and I have a fucking phone in between me and her. This is not right. I needed a break.
I found a creative outlet in social media. I felt out of place as a young mother, I needed to know what that looked like and I could not find immediate inspiration outside of Instagram. I just didn't know anyone with a baby. It's helped me figure out where I fit in in this new world. It’s also been a place where I can dive into a specific moment and spend more time thinking about the moment after it’s happened. This can be great. Especially in my industry. But - there is a time and a place for this reflection to go on and it’s not at 7:30AM when I’ve just woken up and it’s not in the middle of bath time when my daughter is telling me she’s a fish. It’s when I’m alone and I have no immediate responsibilities to my work or my family. Experiencing every moment for what it is with no expectations.
“The ‘Instagram Generation’ now experiences the present as an anticipated memory”
-Professor Daniel Kahnema, Psychologist and Nobel Prize winner
I needed to give myself time to reflect on the kind of of content I share with over 10k people. Why are these people seeing intimate photos of my daughter before I send them to her grandmother? It doesn’t seem human. It seems robotic and sterile. We all know social media is a faux reality of people’s lives, this is not news but do we know the impact it’s having on our relationships and the people in our immediate lives? I don’t know but I do know that I need to be conscious while using technology. I need to live in the now more so than I live in the photos or past experiences I’ve had. I’m making a conscious effort to make sure my daughter knows it’s just me and there is no phone between us. To make sure I’m not unconsciously creating some kind of brand for her or I to fall into. That I’m not turning into this weird 2016 version of a stage mom. The thought of this seriously boggles my mind. Most recently, a user I follow made it a literal point to post one photo for each hour of her day. Staging each planned expierience every hour to appease her need for acceptance. I will not choose to use my outlet in this way and drag my child into it.
Signing off & encouraging everyone to spend their time thinking consciously on the Internet. Whatever that means to you.