Blog // Vlog


  • Lila's 3rd Birthday

    I never posted this so thought I'd share. I've been putting together little montages for every event that goes on around here. I love looking at video of Lila when she was little so I figure this is the perfect way to hold all of our memories. 

    I had just had Nova a few weeks prior so we didn't want to do anything huge, we only invited family and Elsa & Anna. Lila was starstruck and totally in awe. We had a good few days. 



  • Just Us • A Time Not Forgotten

    My sweet baby girl. I came across these videos of us dancing, just us all alone at home on the slow days. You couldn't speak, my breast was still where you found your best comfort, our love was blossoming. We are stronger today because of these days. I don't want to forget them. When your brother comes into our world, these times will not be forgotten or lost. I love you Lila.

  • Feature @ Noblecarriage

    Check out our feature over at: Noble Carriage

    And more photos + words on clean n' green livin. 

  • filming in the redwoods

    We spent a few hours hanging out in the Redwood Regional Park in Oakland and made this for our friends over at Sapling Child


  • The Instagram Addict

    There’s a time and place for technology. I needed to cleanse.  It seems totally dramatic and outrageous but I truly felt myself slipping out of living in the moment.  I felt myself comparing my Friday night or kitchen countertops with a stranger. I deleted the app, told myself to put down my damn phone and finish a book in my free time. My daughter is growing and learning at a rate I can’t keep up with, it’s all happening right before my eyes and I have a fucking phone in between me and her. This is not right. I needed a break. 

    I found a creative outlet in social media. I felt out of place as a young mother, I needed to know what that looked like and I could not find immediate inspiration outside of Instagram. I just didn't know anyone with a baby. It's helped me figure out where I fit in in this new world. It’s also been a place where I can dive into a specific moment and spend more time thinking about the moment after it’s happened. This can be great. Especially in my industry. But - there is a time and a place for this reflection to go on and it’s not at 7:30AM when I’ve just woken up and it’s not in the middle of bath time when my daughter is telling me she’s a fish. It’s when I’m alone and I have no immediate responsibilities to my work or my family. Experiencing every moment for what it is with no expectations. 

    “The ‘Instagram Generation’ now experiences the present as an anticipated memory”

    -Professor Daniel Kahnema, Psychologist and Nobel Prize winner

    I needed to give myself time to reflect on the kind of of content I share with over 10k people. Why are these people seeing intimate photos of my daughter before I send them to her grandmother? It doesn’t seem human. It seems robotic and sterile. We all know social media is a faux reality of people’s lives, this is not news but do we know the impact it’s having on our relationships and the people in our immediate lives? I don’t know but I do know that I need to be conscious while using technology. I need to live in the now more so than I live in the photos or past experiences I’ve had. I’m making a conscious effort to make sure my daughter knows it’s just me and there is no phone between us. To make sure I’m not unconsciously creating some kind of brand for her or I to fall into. That I’m not turning into this weird 2016 version of a stage mom. The thought of this seriously boggles my mind. Most recently, a user I follow made it a literal point to post one photo for each hour of her day. Staging each planned expierience every hour to appease her need for acceptance. I will not choose to use my outlet in this way and drag my child into it. 

    Signing off & encouraging everyone to spend their time thinking consciously on the Internet. Whatever that means to you. 

  • into the rosy atmosphere

    Cocorosie and I have a pretty synchornized relationship. This album came out when I was pregnant. The lullabies combined with the operatic arias with children's windup toys and broken instruments was just the right sound for my ears. This whole album is a dreamy and hopeful lullaby for those who care to join into the shift, a new sensibility of how things aught to be...


    Wet is my whistle
    Wandering wayward
    Trouser is caught in a thorny bramble
    Sun soon be slipping
    Down spine of the meadow
    Swamp candle flower
    A watery fellow
    The monarch's my right hand
    Left is the sparrow
    Twilight blue my bone and marrow
    The river's path is old and narrow
    First evening star
    To comfort the scarecrow

    Pull me up by the roots of my hair
    Into the rosy atmosphere
    Pull me up by the roots of my hair
    Into the rosy atmosphere

    Marveling over dead branches
    Wind in the grasses
    Marveling over dead branches
    Wind in the grasses
    Marveling over dead branches
    Wind in the grasses
    Marveling over dead branches
    Wind in the grasses

    Pull me up by the roots of my hair
    Into the rosy atmosphere
    Pull me up by the roots of my hair
    Into the rosy atmosphere...

    Marveling over dead branches
    Marveling over dead branches
    Into the rosy atmosphere
    Into the rosy atmosphere

  • Lila's Beats

    Lila's uncle, Austen, is a beat makin' machine - it's his favorite thing to do in the whole world. As soon as we walked into my mama's house in LA after our long ride from SF we laid down a sick beat. This video doesn't do it justice but you'll get the idea, Lila's favorite words make up the lyrics. 







  • Friendsgiving

    Although I'm not a fan of the glutunous American fairytale we call Thanksgiving, I can't turn down an excuse to get my weirdo friends together and enjoy good food. I've managed to keep my friends close even though I'm not always the best at making time to go out. It's hard to imagine what your life will be like with kids when not one of your friends has children or is close to having children. I'm so thankful to have a group of friends who all love Lila so much and have totally adapted to my new life even if it means skipping out on brunch at a bar because Lila is coming along. All to say, love you all cranky assholes. <3 


  • Moments frozen in time

    I've been into capturing moments with video and making really short videos. It's the little things we want to remember. This Saturday was nothing special but Cameron gave us a call in the morning and wanted to hang. We went on a walk and picked up some hot dogs, potatoes and lemons. We grilled and drank Jocelyn's tasty lemonade. A pretty sweet day spent with one of our favorites. 


  • Saturday Feels Like a Sunday

    Made good use of my hangover Caturday and took a 3 hour nap with Lila / captured the slow day to cherish forever and ever. I need to make more of these, they're so easy and will probably be a favorite of hers when she's older. There are moments a photo just can't capture.

    Saturday feels lika Sunday from Amanda Tyler on Vimeo.


  • Therapy in Sound


    I'm still not used to this life of routine and consistency motherhood has given me. There are times I find myself aching for something new. Most every morning I wake up rubbing my slit-eyed face as Lila is jumping up and down telling me she's hungry. We do our routine morning shuffle. There are mornings the hot water just isn't boiling fast enough, I need something to help Lila and I get on the same level. I need to set a vibe. MUSIC. Lately, I've been obsessed with Ásgeir Trausti. I'm always a sucker for Icelandic, Swedish or Danish singer song writers. But where oh where will I find my next perfect mood stabilizer? 

    ♫♫♫ My Secret Musical Treasure Chest ♫♫♫

    While in Tulum we ate at a restaurant called Casa Jaguar and I fell in love with their whole situation. But most of all I fell in love with their playlist. I wanted to know who was responsible for the fantastic music I was hearing. I couldn't have gotten a better answer. It could all be found via their Spotify playlist, they have both a 2013 & 2014 list going. My favorite is the 2014 list but you make your own mind up. They frequently update both with new stuff and I really don't listen to anything else, except for of course my friend's "Shitty 2000s" list, but we'll save that for a rainy day. If you don't have Spotify you can still access the link, you'll just have to create an account. You can choose to go without paying and listen to ads every few songs. I'll jot down some of my favorite artists below nonetheless:

    The holy playlist can be found on Spotify -> Casa Jaguar 2014 Playlist  

    some of my favorite bands/artists:

    Ásgeir Trausti

    Body Language

    Boat Club

    Twin Shadow



    Sylvan Esso

    Little Dragon



    Glass Animals

    Craft Spells

    Calico Horse

    Hollie Cook

    When Saints Go Machine


    Baxter Dury



    Kevin Drew


    Boy & Bear





    Dirty Gold


    Mount Kimbie



    oso leone

    Chet Faker





    Autre Ne Veut

    Dawn Golden

    Baby Alpaca

    Oh Land

  • Getting back home

    I've got to clear the dust from my blog pages, it's been a hot minute since I've spent some time here. I'm sitting here alone, upstairs and it's 9:44PM on a Friday night. Plates from dinner are still sitting on the table and there are sippy cups on the floor. I'm taking a moment for myself, away from work and away from my mom duties to type whatever comes to mind. Something we should all do more often, sometimes I feel like I have to catch myself up. Lately it seems as though the days just slip by. Since returning from our yearly French Adventure Extravaganza a few weeks ago I've taken more time to myself and more time to reflect. It felt so good to be home, I missed our little nooks and I had this urge to organize Lila's closet. Sometimes you just need the know-how to press the reset button and start fresh. Paris was nice and St. Raphael was lovely but ooooooooo how good it feels to nestle my roots back into the soil they're most happy in. 

    Since I've been home I'm eating healthier and exercising at least 3x a week. I had a croissant for breakfast, lunch and dinner and my body was screaming for some kind of detox. I decided I hate going to the gym. I get so bored and music just doesn't motivate me anymore. So, I signed up for this thing called Class Pass. I can choose from a list of different studios and classes and schedule a class for any time of the day 10 minutes before. You pay one flat fee for the month and can take unlimited classes. This is awesome for me because I'm constantly rescheduling my days as they progress and it gives me a chance to actually SHOW UP because I have the control. Also, I don't get bored and can take a different kind of class every week. I've gone to different cycling, yoga, pillates, dance and boot camp classes. First thing in the morning I have a huge cup of warm water with 2 tablespoons of Bragg's Organice Apple Cider Vinegar. Then I make a huge green smoothie for the whole family, I have been trying different receipes but one of our favorites is: 

    1 Cup Kale

    1 Cup Spinach

    2 Ripe Bananas 

    1 Clementine 

    1/2 inch Peeled Ginger 

    2 Chunks of Carrot

    1/2 Cup Pinapple 

    1 tbsp Hemp Seeds 

    1 1/2 Cup Coconut Water 

    I drink 2 8 Oz glasses of my smoothie in the morning and I'm totally satiated until about 1PM, I'm obsessed. And I'm pooping, which is cool. 

    Lila is so good, she is getting so big and is becoming more toddler-like every day. She still isn't saying much, the doctor wants us to get her evaluated but I feel like she's making progress at her own pace.  I can understand every little mumble and hand motion so for me it's no big deal. I'll think about sending her for an evaluation if she's 15 and still has a vocab of 10 words: 

    Papa and Lila cleaning up our plants, they needed extra love when we got home. Sometimes I feel more uneasy about leaving my plants with someone than I do leaving my kitties. It's such gamble, luckily they all survived with minimal damage and Lazlo also survived so thats cool:

    And to alleviate some insane jet-lag pain I let her paint all over her face and in her mouth and on her feet and in her hair:

    And we are feeling pretty good about being in our own bed.

  • Tulum 02/15

    My white sand covered brown baby running along the shores of Tulum, Mexico. We stayed in the same hotel we made you in on the exact day. Tulum is the energy vortex of the Yucatan Pennisula. It has a strong electromagnetic field that was caused by a meteorite hitting the Yucatan Peninsula roughly 65 million years ago, and is associated with causing extinction of the dinosaurs. 

  • The Village Gathering

    This weekend we put together a little dinner for The Village Mag, 11 awesome women made it out to my house for a night of good food and wine. The majority of us had never met before, these women were stepping into a situation without knowing anything about me or the other guests. Once we settled in everyone had their own story to tell, the room was like one, big and open beating heart. If you live in the Bay Area and would like to attend one of these dinners go ahead and leave a comment here or shoot me an email, everyone is welcome. The village is as strong as you make it. 

  • Nanny Found!

    Lately I've been kind of sick of the spurious content being puked all over the internet by people. I guess it's just the circle I run in these days. No more depressed, funny and self hating content flooding my feed late at night. I kind of miss it. Anyways, that being said, I'm going to pledge to document my life in a more honest way. DEAL? Deal.

    You guys. I found a nanny. I didn't think I would ever find help who I could trust but I did. Her name is Luz. She's so good with Lila and she makes it possible for me to work and pee by myself at least 3 times a day which is pretty cool. She doesn't shave her legs and she hasn't once turned on the tv to entertain Lila. I am so thankful. HELL YA. On that note, I just wrapped up my first commercial directed by me which was pretty sweet. I'll share it in a couple of weeks once it's released. Unrelated photo below:

  • 2014 Christmas

    This was our second Christmas but it felt like our first. She was more of a little mush pile for our first Christmas. I could see the magic in her eyes this time around. She walked around the parameter of the tree tugging at the bulbs and poking the tree's hairs. My little sister, Caroline, is nine years old and still believes in Santa. This innocence especially radiates on Christmas morning, the cookies half eaten and unwrapped presents littering the living room paints the perfect scene for Santa Claus. 

    I'm still figuring out how we'll work our family's traditions. We will likely spend Christmas in Los Angeles every year, so what does this mean for babe? Maybe an early Christmas at home the night before we leave for Los Angeles. 

  • Lila's First Birthday

    Surrounded by friends and family, we celebrated our babe's first year earthside. I had a full house, friends from out of town came in with their babes to celebrate. My mama and sister also joined us with my nephew who's only a few days older than Lila. My house was a sweaty mess with babes jumping all over each other and sun drenching my living room with heat. This meant lots of sippy cup sharing and mimosa drinking.

    We definetly felt the love. We had way too good of a time to stop and take photos so luckily, Allissa had her camera and captured some sweet moments.  I'm usually really good about taking pictures but I was so all over the place with Lila I didn't even think about it. So, thanks everyone for the collaboration of picture taking.

  • Lila Lune's Birthstory

    Lila is one today so I thought I'd get my birthstory out in words.

    In February 2013 I found out I was pregnant, we had just arrived home from Cuba. Jocelyn and I were semi-living together in Oakland but I still held onto my San Francisco place, renting it out via Airbnb. On October 13, 2013 I finished moving myself out of my bachelorette pad. At 37 weeks pregnant exactly, I walked up and down those 40 steep stairs carrying bags filled with souvenirs from my past.  After saying bye to my little lonely nook on the hill I joined my friends for a BBQ. The entire time I complained, I made sure everyone knew I was exactly 37 weeks pregnant and Lila could come at any time. I talked to my huge belly, telling her to please please relieve me of this discomfort as soon as possible.  I couldn't see my feet anymore and the nights were unbearable,  I resorted to sleeping sitting up.  Pregnancy did not look good on me. I literally gained 60 pounds and had weird rashes all over my body. Although I planned a home birth we were scheduled for a doctors appointment the next day. Lila was breech and we were going to talk about my choices for her birth which likely wouldn't include me at home. I continued to burn the moxa sticks and practice my inversions in hopes that she would turn before our appointment.  We would have likely scheduled a c-section at 39 weeks and I was afraid my baby wouldn't be able to come on her own terms. I didn't want her to feel intruded on. Fortunately, that night when I arrived home from the BBQ Jocelyn asked me if I wanted to go out to eat and I opted for take out, glad I did.

    With a mouth full of Chinese food, at around 8pm I felt a pop. My brother in law was sitting at the table with us. I think he was horrified. A waterfall followed me wherever I went.  We called my midwife, Amrit, as I stood in the shower crying. She said we had to go to the hospital. I wasn't crying in fear of my birth or the obvious unknown but instead because I knew I'd be having this baby at the hospital. She still wasn't head down and Amrit didn't want to perform a breech home birth since this would be my first baby. I didn't have a hospital bag ready, I scurried around grabbing things I knew would make me feel comfortable. I slipped in my water all over the hardwood floors. THUD. I slipped and hurt my knee pretty badly. Jocelyn helped me up and insisted we just get going, he didn't think I needed mascara or moisturizer as much as I thought I did. 

    We drove across the Bay Bridge to UCSF. My contractions started as soon as we got in the car. They were waves of intense back pain. "Jos, we need to get there, seriously." I'd squeeze my eyes tight and clench my teeth in pain. My body was starting to work. Lila had answered my pleas to come at 37 weeks and here we were. The pain would pass and the urgency of needing to get to the hospital would go away. I was so afraid of being cut open it was all I could think about. I had planned for a natural home birth and had prepared myself completely. I'd never been through surgery and the idea of a knife to my abdomen was horrifying. 

    At around 9:00pm we got to UCSF, the waterfall between my legs still going strong, I wobbled through elevators clutching onto Jocelyn as each contraction hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt so uncomfortable under those bright florescent lights. I wasn't ready for this. I used the bathroom and there was toilet paper all over the floor and a huge yellow caution wet floor cone. I wanted to be home, in my bathroom, under my lights and I hated that yellow cone. Amrit was there, waiting for us with a huge smile on her face. The nurses checked me, I had dilated to 5 cm within an hour of my water breaking and was well on my way to 6. My labor was coming on fast. I started to feel a huge weight drop. I knew she was coming. The nurses had to give me Terbutaline to slow my labor entirely. The docs congregated and agreed we would try for a breech birth. UCSF is one of the only hospitals in the country to regularly perform them. I was so relieved. I was thankful to be able to feel my contractions and to know my baby was coming on her own terms. She would choose her birthday.

    We had to prepare for an emergency c-section if it came to that so I was given an epidural. I hated the feeling. My legs went limp and I felt cold. I could still feel the contractions in the left side of my back, a part of me wanted to feel them fully. Jocelyn and I sat there, unable to sleep. We waited for Lila to fight through the Terbutaline and make it to the birth canal. At about 4am The nurse came in and felt Lila's little toes. The docs came into the room and told us the baby's foot had dropped down and it would be impossible to perform a vaginal birth as she was now a footling breech. We were headed to the OR. I was terrified.  Jocelyn waited outside until I was prepped. It was taking forever. The epidural still wasn't kicking in on my left side. The doc would run the blade over my abdomen asking if I felt anything. YES! I begged them to just put me to sleep, I was terrified I would feel something. The medicine wasn't making it to my nerves, it took over an hour to position the needle until I was completely numb. Jocelyn was scrubbed up and by my side once we started. I felt them tugging and pulling, it felt like forever. Jocelyn peeked over the curtain, "Don't look!" I was afraid he would never be able to look at me the same way. She was out! "Is she okay? What does she look like? Why isn't she crying!?" And bam! At 5:15am I heard my baby's cries for the first time. All of the discomfort went away, I just wanted my baby. She was all bundled up and Jocelyn laid her on my chest.  I didn't want to let go, there she was my perfect baby. When a baby is born via c-section they have to take them away to the NICU to check vitals etc. I wanted Jocelyn to go with her and Amrit to make sure she didn't have a bath or any sort of petroleum jelly in her eyes. 
    They had to sew me up. They counted their tools, making sure not to leave any inside of me. My doula sat with me while Jocelyn and Amrit were with Lila. And BAM she hit the floor. Yes, my doula fainted in the OR room. I think I was a pretty good sport about it, despite being terrified. I was finally wheeled back into the recovery room where Lila was waiting for me. Amrit wasted no time and promptly placed her on my breast and just as quickly Lila latched on and snuggled right up to me. It was at that moment I became a mother. The oxytocin flowed through my veins and that rush kept me wide awake for the next two days, all I wanted to do was feed my baby. I've never felt so close to my primal instincts.

    After Delivery

    We stayed in the hospital for 7 days! Lila ended up under the blue lights on account of a mild case of Jaundice. I stayed with her, breast feeding throughout the night and dreaming of what it would be like to snuggle her up in our bed. The c-section recovery was rough and it made holding Lila very difficult. I was frustrated. I couldn't pick my baby up without the aches and pains of my stitched up abdomen. The first time you get up to walk is the hardest but the most important.  
    The time finally came to take her home. After hours of baby-gazing and getting to know each other the time had finally come! All of the fear melted away and it felt as though I'd just received the most precious gift.  I learn more and more about you everyday my sweet baby. I love you.